Wascally Wabbit
by pen.paper.green.day
Summary: Three drabble/ficlet/thingies inspired by boredom and the FBI Bunny from Mary's dream. OOC, and idiotic. Anyway, I don't own anything.
1. I Dream Of Bunny?

**WARNING: These drabbles/ficlets/whatevers are completely OOC, random, idiotic, and, one might say, crack!fic. These will either make you laugh or shake your head in disgust at my god-awful attempt to keep myself amused during a particular boring geometry lesson. Reviews are always welcome, but please, no flames._ [I know, I'm supposed to be updating "Not Leaving" but I've had a depressing few days, so I decided to type up something that made me smile. I will try to update the story I'm supposed to soon. I promise.]_**

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_Wait a second. Does she seriously think I can't take a 6-foot bunny? _

"Mare, I am insulted. Do you really think so lowly of me?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Marshall. You force me to repeat myself.** It. Was. A. Dream.**"

"Yes, but the fact that in your subconscious you doubt my abilities just raises questions about your feelings in conscious thought. Come on, just tell me. Do you think I can take on a 6-foot bunny or not?"

Flustered, Mary flailed her arms a bit and said "I don't know Marshall! Having never seen a 6-foot bunny, I don't think I can accurately answer that question."

"But you saw one in your dream."

"Christ, Marshall! Just let it go!"

"Not until you tell me whether I can take a pink 6-foot bunny or not!"

"Fine! I think that the bunny would start off the fight making you his bitch, but in the end you'd step it up and knock him on his fluffy ass. Satisfied?"

Marshall grinned triumphantly. "Yes." he said cheerily, a bounce in his step as he went to get some coffee.

Mary rolled her eyes and muttered lowly "If I ever dream of a bunny again, I'll shoot myself."

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** I know. Half terrible, half somewhat amusing. I was just...bored. lol.**


	2. The Bringer Of Nightmares

**Yep, here's another addition to the FBI Bunny madness. Sorry if this is detracting from "Not Leaving". I just... am not inspired enough at the moment. Plus, the day before yesterday was like eating at Sucky McSuckington's, and ordering an extra side of suck with my SuckBurger. As I'm sure you can guess: It. Sucked. I'm sorry ahead of time for the absolute OOCness.**

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After all the Brandi/FBI drama was over and done with, Mary was hoping for a somewhat peaceful day at the office with her best friend.

But as soon as she walked in that morning, Marshall glared and pointed at her, and said accusingly "You are the bringer of nightmares!"

She raised a brow. "Excuse me?"

"The damn bunny… It's evil, I tell you! Like those "cute fuzzy bunnies" from that John Cusack movie "One Crazy Summer". Or worse, Frank the Bunny from "Donnie Darko". I never want to sleep again." Marshall dropped his head onto his desk despairingly.

Mary stared at him in disbelief for a second, then laughed.

"S'not funny. I'm scarred for life." Marshall said sullenly.

Mary just laughed harder, leaning on his desk for support.

"Look, I can't be a badass all the time, alright? See, I admit it. Now stop laughing."

When she only laughed harder, tears starting to fall, he positively pouted.

He crossed his arms and glared at the ground, muttering "Damn that Wascally Wabbit. It's not my fault he was a ninja."

Mary fell to the floor with a loud "Oomph!" still laughing.

"Quit laughing at me! It's not nice!"

"When…have I…ever…been nice?" Mary gasped out between fits of laughter.

"Good point." Marshall replied simply.

Then, without warning, he flew from his chair and pounced on her.

Stan and Eleanor could do nothing but stare as the two inspectors grappled playfully on the floor.

"Well, at least I know what to get Marshall for his birthday." Stan said with a chuckle.

"What?" Eleanor asked, tearing her gaze from where Mary was tugging on her partner's hair.

"A giant stuffed bunny."

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**Bwahaha. I can totally see Mary as a hair-puller. At least when she's fighting with Marshall. Probably the only in-character bit of this. .**

**There's only one more of these, I promise. Just bear with me a little longer.**


	3. Not So Happy Birthday

**Ok, here's the last one. Once again, sorry I'm not updating the story I'm supposed to be. I will as soon as my muse gets off vacation. [Mind you, I wrote the bunny insanity back when she was still here.]**

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Mary walked to Marshall's desk and smiled at him. Just smiled.

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Happy Birthday!" she said in a sing-song voice.

Marshall gaped at her. "Let me get this straight. You hate your birthday, but now you suddenly love mine?"

"Pretty much." she said cheerfully, pulling out a present from behind her back.

"Mare, I told you not to buy me anything. Now I have to get you something for your birthday, and you're so hard to shop for." Marshall whined.

"Just open it."

Marshall did as he was told, and laughed at what he saw.

"Really? Bunny slippers? Wait… Monty Python _Killer_ Bunny slippers? If I didn't love me some Python, I'd be terrified of these. Thank you."

Mary grinned. "No problem."

"Marshall!" Stan called from his office.

"Yes, sir!" Marshall called back, still staring at his new slippers.

"Happy Birthday, now come and get your present!"

Intrigued, Marshall put down the slippers and walked into Stan's office. Mary watched, trying to keep her giggling to herself.

Three seconds later Marshall let out a cry of alarm, and came running out of the office. Mary started laughing in earnest.

"You knew! You knew he had that… that _monster_ in there!" Marshall yelled accusingly.

"Did not. How could I know he had a giant, 6-foot stuffed pink bunny and not tell you about it?"

Marshall just glared, grabbed his Killer Bunny slippers off the desk and walked out with a huff.

"Aw, Marshall, come on! At least it's not a ninja!" Mary called after him.

Stan cleared his throat a few feet behind her. Mary turned to see him holding the large stuffed bunny… with a black ninja mask on its head.

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**Okay, the ridiculousness has to end. I hope you enjoyed the fruits of my bored-as-hell labor. Updates on "Not Leaving" ASAP, I swear.**


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